THE KEYS TO RESOLVING RELATIONSHIP DISPUTES
We seldom "swipe right," fall in love, and then live happily ever after. And when things become rough, it's easy to give up, claim "it wouldn't have worked out anyway," and move on - rather than putting in the effort to learn how to overcome disagreement in a relationship.
WHAT CAUSES RELATIONSHIP DISPUTE?
Disagreements in partnerships occur for a variety of reasons, ranging from basic everyday disagreements such as who does the dishes to significant ones such as adultery. Lack of attraction and desire, emotional stonewalling and loss of commitment, as well as economics, family duties, and uncertainty, are all frequent relationship pressures. When we are stressed in other areas of our lives, it affects our relationships. For example, if you come home from work frustrated and exhausted, or if you are in conflict with other friends or family members, that stress is contagious. To enhance your relationship, you must learn how to settle disagreement in all aspects of your life.
HOW TO KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP SAFE
You're already reading about how to save your relationship, so you know the first step: you must want to save it. If you have that desire, you must learn how to channel it into productive measures that will help you mend what is broken.
1. INSPECT YOUR FOCUS
The focus defines the direction. That's what you'll get if you're focused on creating a beautiful, passionate relationship. — Anthony Robbins
When you are focused on protecting yourself from an attack rather than tackling the problem, disagreements in relationships become detrimental. By focusing on your pain and suffering, you ensure that you will experience more of the same, since energy flows where concentration goes.
Tony used to drive down a two-lane highway with just power line posts at 10–20 yard intervals. One of these seems to be always adorned with flowers, candles, and photos. With so much room on each side of the post, it was incredible how many people had died or been wounded after colliding with it. Why didn't the victim try to avoid it? Why didn't they veer to one side or the other?
You're seated in a coffee cafe. There are two couples seated beside you in the shop. The couple to your left is debating whether or not to go out to supper with friends. "It's never fun — you said so yourself the previous time," he says. He rolls his eyes and adds, sarcastically, "Here we go." War and Peace, our particular copy, whatever volume." They sat in quiet, turning away from each other.
TRANSFORM A CONFLICT INTO AN OPPORTUNITY
One couple at the coffee shop found how to handle dispute in a relationship: don't see it as a competition. Why would you want to lose your lover, the person you care about? When you realise that there are no losers in love, you can put aside little disagreements and enjoy good communication.
Conflicts provide chances for you and your spouse to align on values and outcomes. They provide opportunities to comprehend, accept, and embrace diversity. Put yourself in your partner's shoes and try to comprehend what they're going through. These events and feelings may be unpleasant, but if we constantly choose comfort, we will never develop.
Conflict may also help you discover more about your relationship and love problem solution them on a deeper way. Instead of seeing disputes as causes to retreat, learn to see them as stepping stones to something greater.
ACCEPTANCE OF PRACTICE
Apply your new abundant perspective to your relationship. Because no human being is flawless, all of our spouses have annoying tendencies. Instead of focusing on their flaws, consider what they bring to the table, how they make you feel, and the characteristics you like. You'll soon realise that you miss even the things that used to irritate you, since they're a part of the full person, your spouse, whom you adore.
MAKE TIME FOR TOUCHDOWNS
When you're always arguing with your spouse – when everything they do irritates you – it's difficult to be loving. You must, however, make time for touch. This includes snuggling on the sofa watching a movie, stealing a morning embrace before work, and holding hands for no purpose at all.
There's a reason why hugging your mate feels so good: Cuddling, embracing, and simply holding hands releases oxytocin, a "feel-good" hormone in your brain that makes you feel safe and loved. Oxytocin can help you sleep better, feel more connected to your mate, and even lower your blood pressure. All of these advantages are yours just by reaching over and putting your partner's hand in yours.
Don't withhold physical affection - even if you're angry – or you can find yourself in trouble.
